My Little Yeti.

I am being stalked by someone who has no desire to ever actually see me.

He’s a painful disappearing act, an amazingly bad magician - although I wouldn’t compare him to David Copperfield, or even dare to insult Doug Henning – no. He was (is) the relationship equivalent of David Blaine, encased in that block of ice, suspended over Times Square for a month, or whatever the amount of time was that he chose to stick himself in there that didn’t really matter to the rest of us. He had become a bit repugnant due to his repetitive tricks, and, like watching David Blaine, I was annoyed yet at the same time just had to watch the train wreck that was inevitable.

[A friend of mine lived in Manhattan when he attempted said stunt, and told me that the cameras failed to show how Blaine actually pissed off a ton of New Yorkers. What the cameras failed to show were people continually lighting up hibachis underneath the block of ice, or that on more than one occasion someone snuck by security and cut Blaine’s catheter line.]

The kicker is that this Kid is such a Sasquatcheriffic-Chupacabtastic-McGuffin of a Kokopelli that I can't really describe him as your typical asshole or douchebag, as that would be too simplistic for the enigma that the Yeti has become --- although A1 has taken to describing him as "the heir to the Massengill fortune" as of late. (Friends are a beautiful thing.) Ironically enough, I can't really be mad at said abominable snowman, as this seemingly on-going non-relationship gives me both a serious case of angina as well as great fodder to get expository to, which is an amazingly fucked up kind of two-fer.

I am consciously weighing the options that he's either bat-shit crazy, or just plain mean; however, I'm sort of leaning towards a 60/40 split of both. These days, I'm beginning to think that he might just be one of those Time-Life Books Unexplained Mysteries, not unlike the phemonenae of Spontaneous Human Combustion, or Extra-Sensory Perception. And in that sense, this has become one hell of an experiment.

It's been two weeks since I last had a sighting. Stay posted.