Monday.

I'm missing an episode of my favorite TV show as I type this
Although I don't have access to public television
Or even to cable
I thought there was a vast government conspiracy behind the converter boxes
And for once I was going to take a stand
I'm missing an episode of my favorite TV show as I type this
Instead I just wait for some geekfuck to post it online for free
I sit around like a predator for cbs monday nights
I am a fucking rockstar

I got a new showerhead installed in my bathroom
It has quite a lengthy hose
Which made it all the more easier to get off on
And sometimes I think of you
Or him
I guess
Anyway detachable shower heads are wonderful
For those on a budget or a time-sensitive schedule
a few clicks to setting 6 and
I end up quite fine

Sometimes I lie down in the tub
But sometimes one doesn't want to deal with the inevitable suction that occurs
Between the bathtub
And your back
It fucking stings – and then you're lying like a dumbass in your bathtub
Wondering if you have a back hickey
And what would you say to your friends
Hey I was just jacking off in the shower
Hence this fucking back hickey
Somehow they would all be okay with it
But then again why would they be seeing it?

Sometimes you have to work your right foot to adjust the temperature
Your right foot is used to adjusting the temperature
I guess it has something to do with Monday
Or just being alone in general